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the many shades of a headscarf

I’ve been growing my hair for the past four years– from a crop boy cut to close to my waist. The color through the years changes of course. I can not stay in one hair color over three months– I get bored easily. “You ‘ave five couleurs in yer ‘air mademoiselle, ’tis ridiculous” My sister’s uppity french hairstylist was appalled as he tossed my hair between his figures.  You see my hair was a constant DIY project. The very first time I wanted a drastic color change I’d head over to the hair salon, once the desired color was achieved, the do-it-yourself experimentation starts. It’s true at one point I did have five colors in my hair– I loved it!

“You know what’s the funny thing about this headscarf you’re wearing Nermine?”

“What?” I answered impatiently, already tired of the overwhelming attention I’m receiving over a piece of fabric–was I really that radical?

“It’s not that it’s a tie-dye headscarf, it’s the fact that I know there’s a-boy-cut-purple-haired-girl underneath”

“Just don’t be too sure” I winked at my friend and walked away.

The two weeks before I finally made my decision to cover my hair, I had gone from blondish brown locks almost down my waist, to a razor cut along my neck and ear line and a slightly longer hair the color of an orange peel on the top of my head. The day before my big day–meaning wrapping this whole nonsense in a tie-dye scarf that proved more challenging to stay put on my  head with what little hair I now possessed– I poured purple hair dye over my head and turned heads in the streets and my school a like. My forehead stayed purple for another week, making my headscarf look more peculiar.

It doesn’t matter I told myself. Hair is not important– long, short, purple, orange, or wrapped in a piece of fabric. What’s important is something incomprehensible. Am I going mad? Might as well… and then I cried. This was not how I saw myself going about life. I hated the headscarf with a passion, heck, I convinced my best friend to take hers off.

Ten years in, I still have doubts. But I push through and leave it all to Him.



About Muslim Hippie

Hello and welcome, you have landed yourself on this virtual space designed by your humble servant to try and escape life's unpleasantness through: selective memory musings, snippets of the world that surrounds me, and occasional insights when the light blub in this strange brain of mine flickers. No real names are displayed I'm afraid, why bother?

2 responses »

  1. This is such a beautiful post. I love to read about the journeys you go through as a hijabi. I hope that they will help me to be a more compassionate and understanding mom. I’m sharing on my wall. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Pingback: The Hijab Journey « My Islamic Life's Blog

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